Last night I was talking with a new person in SL (will try not to use av anymore, since we are all people). She was only about fifteen days old and was a bit frustrated about how Mistresses didn’t want to have anything with her because of her SL age.
I can understand her frustration since we all were there once and back in my newbie days I could barely keep my hair in between TPs but yet I expected for people to talk to me as if I was part of the group already.
As the conversation progressed, I got to thinking of how the inventory that a sub already has really makes a difference.
If she already had cuffs, gag, harness, collar, maybe iControl, a Mars Ring, etc…, it would make the life for a Mistress that much easier. I enjoy good BDSM equipment to be used along in the play, specially if I am familiar with it allowing me to make easier transitions with my words as I make the sub do different things to please me or to punish her.
Even better if the sub has already set #RLV folders and she lets you know ahead of time, or you discover them when you are using the collar. The flow of the words is seamless.
So the newbie sub didn’t have any of these equipment. I recommended that she get some of the basics, and look for good quality freebies. The main issue of course being that the amount of equipment out there is very large. Some key systems for cuffs, harnesses, and gags requires a course on their use. It is frustrating in some cases and in others it causes the sub to run away because the equipment takes away from the flow of each interaction.
I told her “you can see how this is frustrating and some Mistresses prefer someone that has been around and possibly has some equipment that is common in SL.”
Of course the other side of this coin is this: Should the Mistress buy all the equipment for the sub? Or make her buy it all. Some subs believe that the Mistress is fully responsible (financially of course), for getting each sub equipped.
The way I do it is simple. I tell the sub that this is a shared arrangement. I pay for the land and the house where we live, I will buy certain things for her, and she is responsible for the rest of the things that I want. She can find freebies or buy them, but I have to approve all the purchases ahead of time so that way I know what I will be working with. That is not too much to ask.
Inventory does matter in the beginnings of a D/s SL relationship.