Do you really have time for me?

So there I am at Secret House, I engage in conversation with a very promising sub (good profile, good SL age, etc…). We talk for about 40 minutes or so and things are going well.  So I ask if she is looking for a long-term relationship and she says yes, that is what she wants.

Looking even better. So then I ask “tell me more about your SL life and experiences,” and this is what she offers up (mind you, none of these are in her profile).

“Well Miss, I currently have two Mistresses, one that takes care of me and my main one that is not in SL as much anymore but I still love. When she comes in I love to spend time with her.

I also have two subs of my own and they are like my daughters and best friends, love them to death and will do anything for them.

I’m also a Panther in Gor and play in three different SIMs, three different roles, and I really enjoy that RP.

I have two alts to play different characters in Gor and sometimes I login with all three at the same time for long role plays that may take days.

I didn’t copy and paste the IM to keep with the TOS but I am not exaggerating the details. Everything above was said.

She may have detected my astonishment over the Internet because she was obliged to say “… but don’t worry Miss, I will have plenty of time for you and you will be my number one priority.”

WTH !!!!!!!

At that time I had to say no thanks, and told her so. She got really exasperated about it, but I did have to say it directly. Are you really going to have time for me?

I covered aspects of this post in a previous post but had to make a comment on this particular incident since it is such a glaring example.

WOW !!!

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RLV or not RLV? That is the question.

So the conversation suddenly turned into the merits of RLV for use in SL so I decided to do a piece on RLV.

What is RLV? It is short for “Restrained Love Viewer.” Talk about a loaded set of words. We are going to restrain your love inside your viewer. In reality is a way for one avatar to control another avatar in many ways.

One of the main tenants of the BDSM lifestyle is that it should be consensual and that one person is allow to exert control over another in mental and physical settings. RLV allows the duplication of the physical control in SL. The system is based on one avatar giving permission to another (consent) to control their SL experience in the viewer. To make it clear, RLV is not one script that allows control, it is a module (within the viewer) that takes functions that are built into the viewer and allows one avatar to control them for another.

Let me give you an example. As you know there is a function inside the viewer that allows you to teleport your friends to your location. This is built into the viewer and as you know makes your experience much better (pushy DJs trying to get you to their event notwithstanding). Using RLV you could force your friend to teleport (existing function) to you without their permission or without them having to push any buttons. As you can see this is control, and that is part of a D/s relationship.

So take any function in the viewer and image that another person can run it for you. Put clothes on and off, stop you from IMs. stop you from teleporting, restricting your camera view, etc…..

This control is part of the appeal of D/s and BDSM and  RLV is built into collars, equipment, clothes, and many other items to create this physical control.

Should you use it? I say yes but not as a replacement for your words but as an enhancement of your visual experience. Once a sub sees themselves on their knees and not voluntarily, or you removed their clothes without notice (and many other RLV functions), the emotions and feelings of the moment are enhanced as you talk through it (recall my Words post).

So use RLV as an enhancement and not a replacement of the experience. How and when to use it is a matter for another day and it is truly the part of discovering the many fetishes that you may be interested in.

Below is my attempt at a semi-technical discussion of what RLV is and how to get it working.

The official Linden Lab Second Life Viewer doesn’t support RLV at all. Linden Labs has made a strategic decision not to support it since it is mainly an adult type of tool and in my opinion, if they ever want to sell Linden Labs to a big corporation (Microsoft almost bought them a while back), they can claim that BDSM behavior is not a part of their viewer design. If you want to use RLV you must use a different viewer.

In order for anyone to use the full power of RLV you must be using a third party viewer that enables RLV and Phoenix/Firestorm is the most popular. You must enable it on the viewer before it works.

Now, the most common tool to perform these RLV functions is the now ubiquitous collar and it uses the Open Collar standard which is very much available in SL for free in many places. Temple of the Collar is the most popular place to get it.

There are many other tools available besides the open collar (Mars Ring, iControl, etc…) but they are all limited by what the viewer can do and a basic open collar can do most of the functions that other products (that cost more money) can do.

Part of the RLV design is also a set of safe words to allow you to get out of the control situation pretty much at any time (but sometimes you can’t, the controller of the RLV object would have to be present).

Very basic discussion but it should help you get going if needed. Visit the Open Collar site if you want to learn the functions of a RLV collar.

Good Hangout Places

People keep asking me where are all the good places to hang-out and indulge in the BDSM life style with other women.

I actually have been compiling a list and rating places and will publish it next week so stay tuned.

In the mean time, I have to say that there are very few places that cater strictly to Mistresses and female subs and that are worth visiting.

So if you have visited the Secret House, Amelie’s Garden and Dungeon, or the Lesbian Society, you have come close to the only places that cater strictly to women BDSM fetishes and where the clientele know what they are doing in the BDSM world. Only women are allowed and normally it is strictly enforced (a more in depth review next week of these and other places).

There are hundreds of other SIMS that cater to BDSM but normally it is women and men at the same time, or the women only place is just a mixture of video game players looking to act out BDSM and not women that really feel it inside and are serious about it. In these places you will find a large group of switches  (see my previous post on switching).

What to do? I say start in one of the first three that I mentioned above and stay there for a while. Traffic will come. What is the sense of going to a place that has a good reputation and semi-decent traffic just to arrive don’t see anyone around and poof away. Stick around and you will be surprised what can happen.