I’ll start the new year (I know is February already) with a series of posts (four parts I think), that will highlight the concept of submissiveness and how it relates to SL.
Part 1 – Why does someone want to be a submissive?
Because it is important to them
In my many dealing with submissive women, a common theme of every encounter is that a person that is willing to engage with a Mistress is doing it because submission is very important to that person. A true submissive attaches a value to being owned, or to be serving someone. Since in second life is normally not a physical connection, then the emotional connection becomes even more meaningful. This emotional connection (in both RL and SL) is very deep in a true submissive and they feel it to their very soul. Because of this deep connection a true D/s relationship is not a game to a true submissive. That is the reason many SL D/s relations end so quickly, is a game for one of them and trivializes the real emotions that can be felt.
Because they want to be taken care of
A submissive woman wants someone strong to protect and watch over her. I often hear this when I ask that direct question about the reason they want to submit to me. Of course one has to be careful about being topped from the bottom in that situation. A submissive wants to be able to relax in the safety of her Mistress and the environment she creates for her.
Part of her feeling of being taken care of by you is knowing that she has certain rules and limits for herself. If she disobeys them, she expects to be disciplined. When you are correcting her behavior by a punishment of some kind, several things are happening. The first is that you care enough for her to correct her. It is proof to her that she has your attention and you are watching over her, making sure she does what is best for herself.
If it was a task or command of your own that she disobeyed, then your punishment leaves no doubt in her mind that she must obey you and that allows her to feel secure in her submission to you. If you set rules for her then never check to see they are followed, your message to her is that she is not worth the effort it takes to see that she has obeyed. You are unconsciously saying she does not deserve your attention. This lack of attention will lead to her disappearance as it is a critical part of submissiveness.
The best way to deal with this part (the rules), is to make it somewhat of a formal and clear process. As the Mistress, you want your rules obeyed and she wants to obey them and be recognized for her desire to please you. If she “overlooks” a rule it is often a test to see if you care enough to catch it, and for you it is an opportunity to show her that she will not be allowed to get away with anything. The stricter you are in supervising her, the more she will feel your attention and the happier she will be. Believe it or not.
More to come in part 2 ……..