I was reading some profiles the other day and one of them had the following statement “Looking for a one to one relationship and totally exclusive.” Have seen that statement many times and it didn’t trigger anything in my mind until much later.
What does that really mean to both the sub and the Mistress?
I’ve been in SL for over eight years and I’ve had a very active life and have many personal friends, business friends, and casual friends that are fun. I would say that 40% of my life in SL has not relation to D/s, BDSM, or taking care of a sub.
Today I finally realized that one of the reasons that some subs may leave so quickly is because their expectation of a one on one relationship is a relation in which they are with you 100% of your time and theirs.
If you think about how much time you spend in SL per session, and you have a one on one relationship with a new sub/slave how much time will you actually spend with them? I’ve posted about needy subs and topping from the bottom so it is up to the Mistress to manage that time and make sure the sub/slave understands that.
For example, take this other profile statement “Looking for a Mistress for a long-term position as Her slave and property. Interested in really realistic slavery in which a slave is not human but only an object.” What do you think is this person’s expectations in terms of my time as a Mistress?
If I come in should I spend thirty minutes with her before I go see friends and attend an event that I promised to attend? If I tell her that she is to stay in place and I go to the event for two hours should I be IMing her every ten (fifteen, twenty) minutes so she doesn’t feel abandoned? Or do I just don’t care since she says she can be treated as an object and I don’t think about my objects when I am out having fun with my friends.
Does a one on one exclusive relationship precludes me from having friends in SL?
Of course the answer is NO !! We wouldn’t do that in RL. My home slave would have to stay home and wait for me to come back. She should be happy to see me come back and not be fretting her life away because I’m out with friends and such.
The big difference in SL is the fact that the slave can easily run-away and then she can find another Mistress in a relatively short period of time. Try that in RL and you would be looking for years and they know it.
If the sub/slave can’t handle your time away from them while both of you are inworld, then I would say they are not really sub/slaves to you. All they are wanting is your attention and all of your time.
On the other hand, I do give my subs/slaves time to go out and do other things if they have that feeling. They may want to go window shopping (I approve all purchases for slaves), go to an event of their own, and visit old friends as well.
I need to look at this more carefully and study it. This may be the main reason for many brake ups and no one is looking at it seriously.